Do you think the really hardcore vampires inject blood straight into their veins?


I donated blood again today. Apparently my veins aren't good enough to donate plasma and/or platelets. But I always knew I was a delicate little flower.

The Australia 'Single of the Year' as voted by the Australian music industry.

Not such a bad choice.

Wedding on Saturday was pleasant enough. Except it was an outdoor affair on a 39C day, and I was wearing a black suit. But I'm not complaining. At least my suit wasn't a 3-piece, like the poor groom and his groomsmen.

Michelle caught the bouquet. Read into this what you will - it was quite obviously a rigged competition.

How did people survive day-to-day life before the internet?

I have absolutely no reference books on the subject, but YouTube had no problems telling me how to tie a Windsor knot.

I'll tell you right now, I look very suave wearing shorts, a t-shirt and a tie.

My first ever internet friend, Mary (lifeflowson) has written a 'Music-and-Food'-themed cookbook, and is in the process of self-publishing it, for sale at the beginning of next year.

Now, normally I only say mean things about her, but Mary has previously emailed me a couple of her recipes and I can assure you all that they are quite delicious, and I very strongly recommend that you all buy it from her. Even if she does use archaic measurements like 'ounces' and 'pounds'.

You can see all the details of the book - and some sample recipes - all on this website right here.


And this isn't even a paid advertisement.

To achieve 50,000 words in the month of November, one has to average 1667 words per day, for 30 days straight.

It's the 6th day of November, and I've just written my first 126 words. Averaging, obviously, 21 words per day. And here I am, obviously procrastinating on LJ.

I think part of my problem is that I try and get things perfect the first time, and I get all down on myself when something doesn't read well immediately after I've written it. Obviously, it's better to just write crap the first time, and re-write it better the second time, but I have difficulty getting into that mindset.

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It started with a body, as all good detective stories do. In fact, even most bad detective stories start with a body. But the good ones... they ALL do.

Raphael Vanamburg lay on the cold floor of his laboratory, lifeless. He was partially a victim of circumstance, but largely a victim of the two nine-millimetre hollowpoint bullets which had quite recently taken up residence in the left ventricle and right atrium of his heart. Had he been capable of thinking anything at that moment, as his cooling blood crept lazily along the channels formed by the tile floor, Raphael Vanamburg, perhaps more than anyone, would have been very keenly aware of the cruel irony of his having been in the right place at precisely the wrong time.

---

As I said, not great. But I'll try and keep at it.

POSTSCRIPT - 1021 words. Still not even one day's worth, but substantially better than 126.

I'm attending a wedding next Saturday. I shaved for it today.

You see, my stubble had to be short enough that it wasn't scruffy, but not so short that it left me looking all baby-faced.


Yes, my testosterone levels are such that I have to shave 9 days in advance for a one-day growth.

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a Double Entendre.

So the bartender gave her one.

I now have certification to work on any construction site in Australia.

Not something I ever anticipate needing to do, but my work says I have to have it anyway.

Weather's warming up. 31C tomorrow. This jogging regimen may actually boil my brain.

I'm trying to remember if I've ever tried to take a jab at somebody on my FL while pretending to refer to someone else. I don't think I have. (I'm sure one of you will remind me if I did.) Suffice to say, if I post something scathing and you think it might be about you, it's not.

Unless you're Canadian. If you're Canadian, there's a good chance that every mean thing I've ever said was about you.

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Speaking of Canadians, my good LJ friend from the 51st state somehow made me think it would be a good idea to participate in NaNoWriMo.

For those of you mercifully unburdened with the knowledge, that stands for National Novel Writing Month - the idea of which is to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. This is misleading in two ways. It's clearly international, not national, and 50,000 words is really only a short story. A novella, at best.

Anyway, those of you who know me well will realise that there is no chance of me seeing this through. I have no commitment to these sorts of things, and my enthusiasm has already dropped to incredibly low levels, despite November not having started yet. But if I manage even 1000 words, that's better than nothing. If I manage 999 words or less, that's worse than nothing.

Well, if anyone else is participating, you should add me as a buddy (buddy is such a fun word to say). It shouldn't be hard to guess my username. My "novel" genre is 'Time Travel Detective Mystery', which some long-time readers may recognise as my special niche.

But just because it's a niche doesn't mean I'm good at it.

So I watched Twilight yesterday. Y'know, just to see what the kids are on about these days.


It was wrong of me to criticise it without having seen it.

But boy can I criticise it now.

Terrible acting, first of all. Characters with absolutely no depth. And a storyline that seemed - at best - patched together from a couple of bad ideas that were not even close to enough to make a feature length movie.

And it was boooooring. It went for about 2 hours and barely anything happened.

And why was it called Twilight? I could discern no metaphorical twilight in the movie, and there certainly was no literal twilight. A title and story that were so completely disparate that one can only assume that Stephanie Meyer thought maybe it was a kinda cool and mysterious sounding title, even if it was completely irrelevant.

POSTSCRIPT - I'm off to jog now. And I'm completely full of milk. Let's see how well this works out.

I bought a new CD on the weekend. My first in quite a while.

I've listened to it a couple of times now, and overall I'm happy with my choice.

My jogging improves slightly with every day that I actually remember to do it. Sadly, the exponential rate of improvement I'd hoped for seems less likely now, though I think I can still hope for at least once around the globe in the coming weeks.

POSTSCRIPT - Sadly, as my jogging skills increase, my Solitaire skills seem to be on the wane. What peaked at a 17% win average (with 3-card draw) has fallen to 14% in the past couple of weeks. If I can't even excel at jogging and Solitaire in tandem, what hope do I have of becoming an omnipotent superman?

Earlier this week, I worked in somebody's residence which was a third-floor apartment. After going up and down the stairs just a couple of times I was a little alarmed to find that I was a little out of breath. I used to play basketball two or three times a week, which would keep me relatively fit, but for the past couple of years my level of exercise has dropped close to zero.

So I decided to take up jogging. Yesterday - Day One - I jogged about a kilometre. Kinda pathetic, by anyone's standards, but also kinda expected, on account of the abovementioned unfitness.

Today - Day Two - I jogged a substantially improved two kilometres. Still not great, but if I keep up this 100%-per-day improvement, then in just three weeks time, I'll be able to jog, non-stop, around the world 52^1/2 times (at the equator).

I'd prove it to you, except that at the end of it I'd be half way around the world, which is a long way from home.

Michelle and I went to IKEA last night. While there, I tried on two different children's hats. I'm hoping that the two different strains of head lice I almost certainly picked up will battle each other into extinction.


I also seem to have developed an unnatural love for IKEA's disgusting $1.50 hotdogs (get your mind out of the gutter, hexkitten). They taste like styrofoam, and usually give me stomach cramps... but that's what love feels like, right?

My American LJ 'friends' are predominantly dirty, leftist hippies. This probably arose due to me being one myself. Birds of a feather, and all that nonsense.

So I have a question for the Americans here. Are any of you actually seriously opposed to Obama's proposed healthcare reforms, or do you know people who are? Because obviously there is a lot of opposition to it, if my media is to be believed, and I really can't understand why.

Sure, universal healthcare is a socialist system. But socialism isn't the dirty word it once was. Especially not in a democratic setting.

I pay taxes which contribute to a hospital system I've never used, but I do so happily because I know that sooner or later I'll be diagnosed with Wandering Bladder or some such illness and I'll have the appropriate facilities there to aid me when I do.

Of course there are some arguments against it, but these are invariably arguments which favour the upper class who can already afford good, private health cover, and don't want to pay taxes to subsidise the lives of the lower class scum. Just exactly why so many of the working poor are apparently opposed remains a mystery to me.

I was a last-minute fill-in in for a dodgeball team last night.

In case you've ever wondered it has been conclusively proven that, yes, I do throw like a girl.

How come crappy 'Writer's Block' suggestions like this one make it, but when I put to the good people at Livejournal "Have you ever punched a kitten? Do you ever sometimes think you should?", it gets completely ignored?

POSTSCRIPT - Just looking at some other answers to this 'Writer's Block'. If ever you feel a bit down, just thank the lord that you're not the person who answered the above question with "OHMYGOD. PANICATTHEFUCKINGDISCO. FALLOUTBOY. BLINK-182. PARAMORE. MYCHEMICALROMANCE. EVANESENCE."

As well as the obvious security problems, giving out usernames and passwords to unsecure sites and programs can just be damn embarrassing.

One of my Facebook friends, a girl I went to school with, has her status as "I lost 8 1/2 pounds in only 2 weeks with this new pill! visit ColonCleanerXL.com to get your free trial pack!"